It's been snowing on and off all day today, which meant a slippery drive to the Albany airport to pick up my mother, who's visiting until Thursday to see the kids for an early Christmas celebration and to look at houses in the area, since she's planning to join us here sometime next year. I'm especially happy to see her, given the stress I've been under at home; she's been exceptionally kind, responsive and helpful to the issues the H and I have been having, without any judgement to make me more stressed than I already am. I'm truly grateful, and I love seeing her with Dido and the Babe; they are so connected to both their grandmothers, and I find it really moving to seem them engage so deeply.

Meanwhile, things at home are better, at least on the surface--maybe a blanket of new snow will do that. There's no resolution to speak of, but everyone is behaving nicely, and that's worth something. A lot. (Everyone, that is except the Babe--that's her, above, "reading" in bed next to me as I type this--mind you, it's ten p.m., long, long past her bedtime, but, according to her "I NOT TIRED!".)

I want to thank all the friends who reached out in person or via email or comment to check on me this week--it means a tremendous amount. Huge. It takes courage to admit you're suffering, but it also takes courage to reach out and acknowledge pain, so thank you.

I am going to go to sleep and see if the little not tired-one will snuggle up next to me and drift off, too. More to come.


goodfellow said...

I wish I could say something to help, but I haven't a clue...

After 18 years, I've noticed that sometimes things don't get "resolved", and that can be okay, or not. Sometimes things go away of their own accord; other things glue you together, like joy in your children.

We've had a really rough time this past year, well ever since I was pregnant with the babe (the babe who doesn't eat btw: I can't believe I have a son who doesn't eat, and is underweight). The move was very, very hard, especially for me. I am guessing that it is affecting your relationship too.

Hope you are soon on a better track.

And your mom sounds amazing.

Anonymous said...

Three cheers for a little girl who likes to stay up late! I was one myself, and still am. So many books to read and thoughts to think and stars to gaze.

I woke up at 3am with the wind shaking the house. I am so glad I got up to look out the window because at first I thought the sky was all gray with just a break of light at the horizon. But when I went to the window it was really just a thin line of clouds at the horizon and a great slate sky full of stars.

LOVE to everyone at your house. And may your skies fill with lights as you go to the windows.

Auntie Nicie